First Buddhist post

I was going to write out a big post on Buddhism as promised but honestly it was beginning to bore me. Here is the first installment of poems to explain my journey. Enjoy.

My last confession was sixteen years ago.
I’ve never regretted it, you know,
Letting go of believing in you.
You’re not a bad God, that is true.
You gave me no comfort, just emptiness,
You bring others a sense of calmness.
I don’t begrudge them, they have their path
I won’t point out the mistakes in their math.

I’ve found the Buddha, he was a man.
One man, who had a plan.
He tried every available teaching.
It made my brain ping!
Look him up, his story is out there
For anyone who has a care
To find the peace inside of them
Letting go of all the mayhem.

It is official, I am a Buddhist
I follow the path with trust.
That is the noble eightfold path
There isn’t any bloodbath
I’m not saying it is easy.
Every single day I see
The wisdom behind his words
And how to handle my life’s hazards.

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Paying my bills

For the last three and a half years I haven’t been able to pay my bills. Last month, and this month has been the first time I can pay my rent and electricity. Only a few of my close friends knew about my struggles the last few years, and even with them I didn’t go into details.

The other day I was walking through the city centre, it dawned on me that I could actually go into any shop and buy myself something. A bottle of water, a chocolate bar, a magazine, lipgloss, hair products, all the things I haven’t been able to buy. I actually strolled along the streets, I didn’t avoid looking at the shop windows, the big posters telling me that there is a sale on. I didn’t have to remind myself that even with a sale I couldn’t afford the products.

Finally, I threw out all of my clothes that no longer fit me and I am in the process of replacing them. I thoroughly enjoyed filling up that black bag with all those clothes! I bought a new phone, that has been the hardest purchase.

I have learnt a lot the last few years, I have witnessed how blind people are to situations that aren’t theirs. The amount of people that expected me to hop on a plane, because flights are so “cheap,” never once thinking of how exactly I would get to the airport, pay for my food, lodging’s, and all of the other costs that it takes to go somewhere.

I really want to go to a concert. I want to have a holiday with my boyfriend where it’s just the two of us. I want to buy dinner for my boyfriend at a nice restaurant. I want to buy a decent rain jacket, and a summer jacket. I want to buy shoes, and not ones to replace the battered and broken pair, but spare shoes. Imagine that? Having a spare set of shoes. I want to get a yoga membership. I want to get my teaching certificate.

And you know what? I can get all of these things. I will have to save but these things are possible, and that’s pretty incredible.

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New Bullet Journal

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Bullet Journal Cover: every single page has a mistake on it. That’s ok. I like the mistakes. June will be the first month. If I add more collections before then (highly likely) I’ll update this post.

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Legend

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Index

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Birthday’s and Holiday’s! The reason half is blank is becauseI don’t know the school holidays for next year yet. When I get them, I’ll fill in the rest of this.

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Future log: Updating as I sort things out

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Budget, income and out going money.

 

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Chores list: at some point I’ll redo this as some of these happen every 6 months while others are weekly. “Bins” is washing them!

 

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Buddhism Page: I wanted to have this information accessible. I’ve started this journey and these pages are a helpful reminder. I have stopped killing bugs. Everything else, I acknowledge when I do it, I ask myself was I worth it and I move on. I will do a post on this later.

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Baking Challenge: 10 new receipes to try, When I fill this out, I’ll update so you can see what all the boxes are for.

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Library and reviewing: Books to-read and books read, and what I thought about them.

 

 

 

April Review

Health & workouts

Did amazing with the meditation.
Yoga too, feeling at peace with myself.
Negative body image is not fun.
Found the way to negative prevention:
Fitting into new clothes bought off the shelf!

All my clothes are way too small. It took me
A long time to notice I am not fat.
I never had to struggle with my body
In this way. Take it on the chin, wisely.
Follow the wave, that is the way to do that!

It is possible
to see the other poems
click onto donate.

March Review

Introduction

The last time I made a LONG review,
Here’s three poems for you to chew,
Donate to view the other two.
Not a limerick, what do I do?
Too funny to try to redo!

Writing, drawing and crafts

Fourteen chapters in my spreadsheet,
is it possible to complete?
Adding extra columns each time,
don’t worry, it is not a crime!

Interested in Celtic roots,
nothing to do with the disputes,
Celtic knots and spirals are what
I am drawing in my booklet!

My carpet is coming alive,
pattern is starting to arrive.
My thumbs and fingers, they are sore,
waiting to spread it on the floor!