What does getting old mean to you?


there aren’t any old people in the castle. The castle itself is old, the stones on the outside and worn down compared to the stones and the insight. Those stones are grimy to touch, layers and layers of smoke from the hearth. My mother died in her 30s, a grandfather died young, so they say. I don’t understand what all days. I suppose it means I will be Queen, but that means father won’t be here I wish I could stay put and not move forward, stay in this bubble right here.


the house, the coins, the servants will all belong to me. I will get married to someone lower than me, it’s important he knows who is in charge. I will take over my father’s role as Treasury and help Yazmin rule the kingdom. I will be ruling the kingdom. She is not reading this, is she? If she is, take that part out. Better she believes she is the ruler.
No more tight clutches on the purse strings, dear father.


the only future I think of is what crops to plant for next year.


I’ll slit my own throat before I get old enough to get sick.

I’ll check under the bed first though.


If you could change a law, what would it be and why?

Yazmin: that I could leave the castle. Why? Because I haven’t set foot on the bridge since the day my mother died 6 years ago. Yes, the castle is a big place but not only am I not allowed to leave it, it is not proper to go to the lower levels or dungeons. I’ve to stay in the hall or the King’s quarters. There is not a lot to do. The library is full of information from the outside world, there are stories from make-believe lands. About wars and love and all kinds of animals, all I see are cats and rats. Continue reading

Free Write Wednesday 29/03

Write about a teacher. Write for 10 minutes, and no editing afterward. Post it as it is.


She taught me how to journal. How to sketch the important parts of the plant, how to press leaves and petals. Pops taught me and Theo how to be cautious, she taught me freedom. She taught me how nothing can truly harm you if you take it in small quantities and flush it out with plenty of water. She taught me to always try on myself first before any animal, including Theo.

She taught me how to look after the women even though she knew that they’d only come asking me in desperate cases. She taught me how to hunt, she told me where to place my fear, and how to trick the Fiend.

She taught me how to dive, and how to put someone out of their misery. She taught me how to bury her.

She took me in when Pops couldn’t and no one else would, she treated me as a man and never a child. She taught me how to survive.

That’s a teacher, right?

Free Write Wednesday 22/03

I’m changing this post up a bit. I’m going to use the free write to get into my characters heads. This week the subject is: write about a grandparent. Yazmin, Leah, Jasper and Theo all have 10 minutes each on this subject. These are their thoughts.


My grandmother believed that love would cure it. Her father believed that cold baths and excessive exercise would cure it. Continue reading

Free Write Wednesday

Using http://writingexercises.co.uk/subjectgenerator.php, I give myself 10 minutes to write the answer. I am not editing or changing what I have written in those 10 minutes.

If you had a choice, what would you dream about?

Absolutely nothing. A dreamless sleep. I dream the whole night long, I have trouble sleeping because I dread my dreams. I used to sleep really well, but in 2010 I began living the next day in my dreams. Basically, on Friday night, I dream of my work day on Saturday. Wake up and have to actually go to work.
It was hectic. I felt like I wasn’t sleeping. When I moved to France I started getting night terrors. I’d wake up with no memory of who I was where I was. I have memories of the people I love dead. It was awful.
I reached my breaking point after 2 weeks of dreading going to sleep, willing myself to stay awake. I woke from a dream where my brother was brutally murdered in front of me. I got up and turned on my computer, and sent a message to a therapist. I could not take it anymore.
I finished with the therapist and I still get terrible scary dreams. I still wake up with no memory of my own name. The difference is, I know I am safe. I know that it comes back to me. I know it’s a dream.
I drink a tea that helps me relax before bed. Without it, I’m awake until 5 AM and having night terrors again. I write as much as possible, that keeps the terrors at bay. I still dream a lot but it’s about things that are not scary. I can survive them.
Once every few months, I wake up and I have no memories of my dreams. They are the most relaxing nights and precious of days. If I had a choice, I would have a dreamless sleep.