Health issue again!
Yesterday was the 1st day back writing. I had no choice but to enforce another break. Sunday, I woke with absolutely no ability to use my right arm. Not only was it dead, but also painful: I had pains in the palm of my right hand, my middle finger, ring finger and baby finger: pain for my wrist to my elbow: pain from my elbow to armpit: pain below my armpit, in my shoulder and the side of my boob!
The only thing I could do on Sunday was lie down. I couldn’t text. I could barely pick up a mug of tea. I have been on a strict diet of no phone, no computer, no writing. It is tough.
My boyfriend bought me an arm brace, I will be wearing that from now on all computer and writing tasks. I got my braces rewired this week, means I am in a fair amount of jaw pain too.
Honestly, if next week, something else goes wrong with my health I may have to be in a bad mood. 4 weeks in a row of different pains and not nice pains either is a little too much!
30 Km run in March 2017! Woo hoo! The hardest part: battling negative Lilly. She hurls abuse at me, she goes to town.
On Saturday, I did the 10 minutes straight. It was as tough as I thought it was going to be. However, I did it. I wasn’t entirely convinced I would be able to (hello negative Lilly). I ran at my own speed, I do not care about how fast I am going. I would prefer to do the 10 minutes then not be able to do the 10 minutes because I’m going to fast.
I got a stitch in my shoulder and my belly. The one in my belly went away. The one in my shoulder, I did not know it was possible to get a stitch there. I told the ladies on the Killer Bee Hive about my shoulder, and Pahla (the awesome fitness coach!) Told me she gets them the whole time, and how to combat them.
“Plenty of people have and can run for 10 sustained minutes. Next week, you have to do it for 15 minutes. You will be able to.”
“Excuse me, I am living in the moment. Nobody invited you in. I more I have to do 15 minutes next week, I’ll deal with that when it happens. I don’t care what other people have done. This moment right now is to celebrate what I have done. I have never run for 10 straight minutes before. I am living in this moment right here. It is a good moment.”
This was the argument that occurred inside my head minutes after I finished running. Not only am I pride myself for running, I’m also proud of myself for battling the negative thoughts. My mindset is strong, healthy and positive.
On Tuesday, I did my 10 minutes run after work. Mistake, lesson learned. I was tired and hungry. I stopped twice for about 30 seconds altogether, it was hard. I was about to stop again, I checked how much time left: 140 seconds. I felt the failure welling up, the need to cry. Negative Lilly was cooing.
“If you want to cry, then cry. Do it.” Positive Lilly piped up.
I was able to keep going, I pushed myself. Tears pricked my eyes but did not fall. Running is hard, and it’s my choice. I do as much as I can do, I know when to push and when to pull back. Negative Lilly will always be there. I don’t have to listen to her, I don’t have to talk to her. She has not won if I decide to walk for a few seconds.
I never ran 1KM before February, now, I’ve run 30 KM.
The Killer Bee Hive is as supportive and encouraging as ever. Reading their posts and interacting with them are a huge reason why I am so much more positive these days. I try to give as much support as I receive. I love every one of them, without them, I would not have been able to keep going. The accountability, (it is not forced! No one is taking a roll call,) I know that if I disappear for a while, then come back. They will all be asking about me. I couldn’t have stumbled across a more awesome group of amazing women. I am so proud to be a Killer Bee too.