Being Sarcastic

“Well, this is a nice change of scenery.”
“It’s a prison cell.”
“I was being sarcastic.”
“What’s that?”
“What?!”
“What is “being sarcastic”?”
“Are you serious?”
“You shouldn’t use a word if you don’t know what it means.”
“I know what it means.”
“Why won’t you answer my question?”
“Because I can’t believe you don’t know what it means!”
“Do you know the meaning of all the words in all of the dictionaries?”
“No, don’t be stupid.”
“I’m not stupid. I try very hard not to be. It’s why I asked you the question. It’s perfectly okay to admit ignorance, you know.”
“Yeah, but who would know all the words in all of the dictionaries?”
“I assume the people who wrote them would know a lot of the words.”
“I wasn’t asking you the question, I was repeating what you said to me.”
“Oh, why were you doing that?”
“I can’t remember!”
“You are avoiding telling me what “being sarcastic” means because you don’t actually know and you have a fear of being called stupid.”
“I do not have fear of being called stupid.”
“Prove it.”
“How am I supposed to prove that?”
“Tell me what “being sarcastic” means.”
“…”
“You don’t know?”
“I do! It’s just hard to put into words.”
“That usually means you don’t actually understand it properly.”
“It’s a way of speaking.”
“That explains nothing.”
“You’re nothing!”
“No need to get defensive. Admit that you don’t know.”
“I do know! I know how to use it. It’s hard to explain it, that’s all.”
“Try to explain it.”
“What do you think I’m doing!”
“Turning red and spitting in my face.”
“That wasn’t a question!”
“But you started it with “what”, and by the end, you raised your voice. That’s how a question works. And you stared at me expectantly, when you had finished talking.”
“You are impossible.”
“Nice diversion tactic.”
“What?”
“You are getting angry and jumping around the place to try and make me forget what we were talking about. It’s nice, but it won’t work against me.”
“I’m not doing that. I’m tired of this conversation.”
“Yes, you are. And all it takes to end it, is for you to admit that you don’t know, or explain what it means.”
“FINE! I don’t know what it means! I can’t define it. Are you happy? You can tell everyone how stupid I am.”
“I’m not going to tell everyone that you are stupid, it’s a good thing to be able to admit you don’t know something.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“The first definition is “harsh or bitter derision or irony.” The second definition is “a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark.” Next time, you will know.”
“You knew the whole time?”

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