First Buddhist post

I was going to write out a big post on Buddhism as promised but honestly it was beginning to bore me. Here is the first installment of poems to explain my journey. Enjoy.

My last confession was sixteen years ago.
I’ve never regretted it, you know,
Letting go of believing in you.
You’re not a bad God, that is true.
You gave me no comfort, just emptiness,
You bring others a sense of calmness.
I don’t begrudge them, they have their path
I won’t point out the mistakes in their math.

I’ve found the Buddha, he was a man.
One man, who had a plan.
He tried every available teaching.
It made my brain ping!
Look him up, his story is out there
For anyone who has a care
To find the peace inside of them
Letting go of all the mayhem.

It is official, I am a Buddhist
I follow the path with trust.
That is the noble eightfold path
There isn’t any bloodbath
I’m not saying it is easy.
Every single day I see
The wisdom behind his words
And how to handle my life’s hazards.

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Paying my bills

For the last three and a half years I haven’t been able to pay my bills. Last month, and this month has been the first time I can pay my rent and electricity. Only a few of my close friends knew about my struggles the last few years, and even with them I didn’t go into details.

The other day I was walking through the city centre, it dawned on me that I could actually go into any shop and buy myself something. A bottle of water, a chocolate bar, a magazine, lipgloss, hair products, all the things I haven’t been able to buy. I actually strolled along the streets, I didn’t avoid looking at the shop windows, the big posters telling me that there is a sale on. I didn’t have to remind myself that even with a sale I couldn’t afford the products.

Finally, I threw out all of my clothes that no longer fit me and I am in the process of replacing them. I thoroughly enjoyed filling up that black bag with all those clothes! I bought a new phone, that has been the hardest purchase.

I have learnt a lot the last few years, I have witnessed how blind people are to situations that aren’t theirs. The amount of people that expected me to hop on a plane, because flights are so “cheap,” never once thinking of how exactly I would get to the airport, pay for my food, lodging’s, and all of the other costs that it takes to go somewhere.

I really want to go to a concert. I want to have a holiday with my boyfriend where it’s just the two of us. I want to buy dinner for my boyfriend at a nice restaurant. I want to buy a decent rain jacket, and a summer jacket. I want to buy shoes, and not ones to replace the battered and broken pair, but spare shoes. Imagine that? Having a spare set of shoes. I want to get a yoga membership. I want to get my teaching certificate.

And you know what? I can get all of these things. I will have to save but these things are possible, and that’s pretty incredible.

Changing Spreads

Hello all,

I disappeared again, you should be used to it by now! This is the first evening in the last few weeks where I actually have the time to post something. I’ve been busy working, studying English and searching for the right lessons. I am having fun but wow am I exhausted the whole time. My bujo has been so helpful and I’ve been searching for a spread that will work with my new routine.

 

Space! So much space! What a waste of a page…

Much better, clearly laid out, can add to-do’s as I think of them and go through my week. Unfortunately, the right side still has too much space. Can’t be having that!

This is for next week, I like it so far because having 2 weeklies on either side means I can see exactly when I am working and which job. Small enough boxes so I can make modifications. Hopefully, this will be the one.

 

New pages!

I added a couple of pages this week to my new bullet journal!

 

Running to-do list: very important page. Everything that has to be done gets scribbled here. The best thing is that I can scratch out stuff I no longer have to do, and move other things to the Future log when they become permanent.

30 day challenge! I have body image problems, I didn’t put a weight gauge because that’s a personal trigger. I figure with measuring myself once a month I’ll be able to acknowledge my bodies fluctuation without panicking when I “suddenly” can’t fit into my jeans that are 10 years old! However, I haven’t fully crossed out the idea of a monthly weighing session, I’m not sure where to put it! Page 24 key is on page 23, 30 day challenge, I want to do an activity 5 days out of the week, 2 rest days. Running twice a week, Strength training twice a week and Cardio/Yoga session every second week.

 

30 day challenge with Meditation and Sun and Moon Salutations. I recently bought the book The Mind Illuminated by Culadasa (John Yates) and Matthew Immergut with Jeremy Graves. I will be working through this book to cement my meditation practise. I might do a post about this at some point as well.

 

New Bullet Journal

Bullet Journal Cover: every single page has a mistake on it. That’s ok. I like the mistakes. June will be the first month. If I add more collections before then (highly likely) I’ll update this post.

Legend

Index

Birthday’s and Holiday’s! The reason half is blank is becauseI don’t know the school holidays for next year yet. When I get them, I’ll fill in the rest of this.

Future log: Updating as I sort things out

Budget, income and out going money.

 

Chores list: at some point I’ll redo this as some of these happen every 6 months while others are weekly. “Bins” is washing them!

 

Buddhism Page: I wanted to have this information accessible. I’ve started this journey and these pages are a helpful reminder. I have stopped killing bugs. Everything else, I acknowledge when I do it, I ask myself was I worth it and I move on. I will do a post on this later.

Baking Challenge: 10 new receipes to try, When I fill this out, I’ll update so you can see what all the boxes are for.

Library and reviewing: Books to-read and books read, and what I thought about them.